I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
They took my balls.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
