he wants to bone in the snuggie
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
