You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
