Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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