I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We are all done wearing pants today
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
This toilet bowl is my home.
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