Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
