At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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