What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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