It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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