I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We had sex on a dog bed..
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
