You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Do vagina's smell?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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