the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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