New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize