How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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