Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
