fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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