I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
