What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just forgot I was standing up.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
