i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
