just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize