Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize