All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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