I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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