Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
All the doctor said was why
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize