She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
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