im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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