to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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