But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize