We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
