i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
