You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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