I got chris browned last night
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
