I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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