Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
