he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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