were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
