I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
