Only a mothe r could love this liver
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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