saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
