Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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