Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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