i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
