He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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