chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Who died my cat blue again?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
