i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
