my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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