Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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