Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
