i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
