you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
