he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
