I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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