I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize