she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
