so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
