I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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