You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
