I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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