yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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