Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
