I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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