on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
