She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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