Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
