I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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