I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
