Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
