I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize