Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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