Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
only if we run a train.
done.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
