i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
