how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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